literature

Does It Bother You?

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Published:
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Literature Text

Did I stare?
Did I stutter?
Did I sound out of breath
When
I
asked
you
for
the
truth?

Stop. Think. Look.
Listen.

Just because you know the truth
Doesn't mean I want you to take advantage of it.
Of me.
Of everything I've trusted you with.

Because I see it, every time I bring it up.
I see you.
Your eyes are the same, you know.
But you'd laugh if I told you that.

You don't think I'm onto you, do you?
You haven't seen me in class.
How calculating
How decisive
How smart I really am.

If you saw me like that would you care?
Would you be able to see that I act the way I do based on convenience?
Or would you stop trusting me and think that I act like that because it's
'who I am' for real?

I'm sorry, too complicated a choice for you?
That's okay.
See? I apologized.
I'm acting the same as normal.

Except, not.
Completely the opposite of normal.

Does it bother you when I talk about innocent things?
Don't think I don't notice the way you flich.
Do you want to corrupt me?
Turn me into you?

Because you don't have it all that bad.
Before you yell at me, listen.

I'm not talking about your home life. I know that everything's messed up.
I'm talking about the way you act to the little things.
Do you really think you have it so bad when someone lies to you?

Because, believe me.
People will lie to you no matter how old you are or where you are.

And why not admit it?
I know you lie to me. You flinch.
Just
like
when
I
say
something
honest
and
innocent.

I see it.
And I think you know I see it.

Did you think I didn't?

But hey.
Not like I care.
I just do.
Because I care about you.

Does that bother you, too?
That I care, even though you know I know you lie to me?
Because as much as I change what personality I show,
I really am pure to the core.

Or maybe not.
Who knows.
You might
just
be
winning
yet.

Would you be proud of that?

I don't think you would.

You're there for me, though.
Except, sometimes I wonder.
Do you just store that information?
Use it for your own intents and purposes?
Don't think I don't notice when you hold my hand or hug me from behind.

Don't think I don't notice that moment of hesitation.
That flinch.
I know you know I know.
Don't think I don't see it just because I play innocent.
I'm not so naive.
Not anymore, at least.
Not since you've been trying to change that.

...

Does it bother you that I see all of this
But
do
nothing
about
it?

I think it does.
And I think I'll continue.

(Because I know you're secretly a better person than you let on.)
                            Are
                        you
                     mad
                  that
                I
            noticed?
...Sometimes I really wonder. Not that the person who this is about will ever read this. Mainly 'cause they don't know about this account. But still. I really do wonder...
© 2012 - 2024 SwordSamurai
Comments2
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geeky-penguin's avatar
This is an awesome poem.

so many thoughts and still so concise. the things we as a human race go through with our companions. its frustrating. the way they behave and we just play along, pretending we dont notice. Its like a game of who can keep cool the longest.

But yeah, I really liked this poem.